Late in posting this today. The chest pain seems to be getting a little better. I'm working on cutting down on the pain meds little by little. I want to be out of pain, but I don't want the dull feeling I can get from the narcotics. Doctors can be annoying (Dr. H.) with their fear and superior attitude about how much pain medication you're taking and what kind. For my actual surgery, they gave me Versed and Morphine. That was going in. I've heard that they used diluidid (sp??) after that for pain relief the first few days in CCU. Then Dr. H. made the unilateral decision to use Oxycodone. That never agreed with me; giving me terrible dreams and in general making me feel disconnected to the world. Maybe I needed something that strong because I was still in awful pain and my body felt all-over savaged. But I asked him to put me on Vicodin shortly afterwards. That's what we've dealt with since that. I've been taking Vicodin (nowhere near the same dosages) for years for chronic neck/shoulder/back pain from several major car accidents. So my body is used to it and I know that my other meds don't interact in a bad way. I'm not sure about the newer stuff they've put me on since the surgery (I noticed they snuck the cholesterol drugs in while I was out of it --- stinkers!!)
Anyway, I'm nearly down to the dosages I used to take before the surgery. I'm so glad!!
Something that has come up is disturbing me. My daughter is having a baby any minute - my first grandchild. She's due the 5th of June. Back in the later part of April BSHTF (Before Shit Hit The Fan), I made reservations to go up to NC on May 28th staying til June 8th. But my daughter is nervous that she'll have to take care of me plus the baby (assuming she has it before I get there or during my stay). I feel like a burden. Daughter wants me to stay with my sister and BIL (Brother In Law) so they can take care of me if - God forbid - I fall apart! I don't know if they're OK with that; plus they live a little over an hour away from where she lives in Fayetteville. I know I won't be in shape to pick up the baby (unless he's really little), but it seems like I can still be there for her. I feel unwanted. I thought about canceling the flight, but I reserved a bargain- basement -no- refund -no -matter -if- God - dies fare.
This week is filled with doctor appointments: cardiac surgeon tomorrow (Dr. H.); primary doctor (Dr. W. - especially important if I want enough pain medication to last while I'm in NC); and cardiologist (Dr. V.) - the one who sensed there was something wrong with my heart despite the inconclusive stress tests he performed in December 2010 - bless his nagging heart. I will, of course, ask all of them if they think I'm fit to go on the trip. I know that I'd be especially safe in my sister's and BIL's hands. Hell, they're the ones who essentially saved my life by insisting I call Dr. V. that fateful Thursday. I guess I'll just have to wait and see and Braille my way through this. My WANT to be better RIGHT NOW is at war with reality. Ugh.
When I compare what I was able to do even a few days ago, much less a whole week ago, I really get a sense of the speed of my healing. I swear writing this blog helps me keep my head on (sorta) straight!
Hopefully, all the drs. will be happy with my progress and give me the go-ahead. I've got to call the airline and find out about things like getting a wheelchair and does that mean any carry-on luggage I have will be taken care of, or will I have to shell out the big bucks for a checked bag. Bastards with those fees!!
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