Almost a month!

So, now I'm here at my sister's and probably did too much today.  But, overall, I'm having to take less pain meds, so I guess that's progress.

With my sister, Peggy, I'm able to piece together what happened.  Peggy's an RN on an oncology ward and has had 2 MI's herself, even though she's almost 4 years younger than I am. She's my one relative that's lived through the heart attacks.  Well, my dad lived through his first one, too, and so did my mom.  My little brother (9 years younger) Andy, lived through his first one, too, but only by 11 months.  Anyway, Peg could explain things and share what happened from her point of view.  It's a wonder that I was so deeply in denial all these years.  I absolutely wouldn't take my family's cardiac history seriously.  Well - that's not right.  I took it seriously - it scared the hell out of me - but I refused to believe it could happen to me.  I told Peggy that - for being so close to dropping dead - I should have had more symptoms.  She pointed out that I HAD had symptoms, but that my response was to blow them off or explain them away.  And my GI troubles didn't help b/c I could and did attribute some of the signs as gut stuff or GERD. 

She wasn't hesitant to point out the various things I'd told her in the past year - like my having a little chest pain while dragging my rolling bag from the  office to the parking lot one day and how I had to stop several times to catch my breath and to wait til the pain subsided.  She had a lot of other examples. 

My brother-in-law, Dan, has had quadruple (?) bypass surgery after experiencing cardiac arrest and having multiple stents put into place.  Not even a year later, all but  one of the bypasses had failed and he had to have more stents put in.  He also shared that one of his wires in his chest has broken and pokes him from time to time.  He doesn't want to fix it b/c he says that they'll have to partially re-open his chest.  Shit, I didn't even know that COULD happen!!  How does he live with all this?  How does he handle it, emotionally?!  He says he's needed stuff to help him sleep ever since this started b/c laying there in bed thinking about all the possibilities was hell.  So the answer to this re-definition of self isn't going to be simple or easy.  Fancy that. 

I miss by Cece terribly, but I appreciate that she's relieved of the stress of taking care of me and trying to be in two places half the time. 

Still nothing as far as my daughter going into labor.  I hope she doesn't fart around and not have it until I have to leave.  On the other hand, every day that goes by I'm a little stronger and can be more help to Jenny instead of someone else to take care of. 

My sister doesn't have a lazy-boy so I'm sleeping on a regular bed with tons of pillows.  It's not quite as comfortable as the lounger, but still worked all right.  I'm waiting for the day when I can actually sleep on my side again.  I'm not a natural back sleeper, but that's my only choice right now.