At my nephew's house

For some reason, for the last four nights I've been having major problems sleeping; or going to sleep I should say.  Up until then I was sleeping so well that I thought I'd be able to do away with the sleeping pills.  Then suddenly every time I get ready to retire for the night, my anxiety goes through the roof.  Yesterday and the day before I was having crying jags for no real reason.  I'd go from OK to bawling my face off at the drop of a hat.  Not little tears sliding down the face crying, but big heaving sobs.  And usually I'd have no idea of why. 

Last night the anxiety hit and I'd been so tired and sleepy, but now I was rigid with anxiety and I went to take a Xanax and burst into tears crying so hard I couldn't see.  My sister was still up so I went out into the living room sobbing that I thought I was losing my mind b/c I couldn't stop crying and couldn't sleep from the anxiety.  Peggy really helped calm me down, explaining how my system had gone through such a shock, and my hormones were all screwed up, and I'd been so focused on my daughter and now that job was done and here were all the feelings again. 

Well, tonight I'm staying with my favorite nephew, Karl, and his wife, Stacy.  I adore both of them.  They'd bought a new house (had it built) last year and wanted me to see it.  Plus I'm flying out of Greensboro tomorrow night and they live up near there.  They fed me dinner and we took a good walk.  After visiting for awhile, we all petered out and I'm actually getting to bed at a more normal hour.  My sister and daughter are both night owls, so I was going to bed at 2, 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning before.  Now it's not even midnight.  God, I sure hope the anxiety thing doesn't hit me again tonight.  I slept til 13:00 today when my BIL woke me up yet I've been tired all day long.  Maybe my body is trying to make up for over doing it at my daughter''s. 

So, I get to visit with Karl and Stacy tomorrow til Karl takes me to the airport in time for my 20:00 flight HOME!!  HOME!!!