At my sister's and not as depressed. That feels good - to not get up feeling like the weight of the world is crushing you. Aside from going out to the supermarket and walking up and down the isles, I didn't do any exercise today. Just felt worn out. Had a long nap this afternoon and now stayed up late again.
Still no grandbaby. Decided to extend my stay until the 18th. Of course US Air wouldn't let me change my flight without a HUGE fee, so it was cheaper to just book another one-way fare. Cece is sending my meds overnight. I think she was real disappointed that I decided to stay. But, still, it made sense. Now, if the baby will only cooperate . . .
I wake up lately with not too much pain in my chest; more just stiffness. Can't lean my head back to look up very comfortably. My chest feels so tight. But as the day goes on, the pain builds. By the end of the night I find myself rubbing and rubbing my chest, trying to soothe it. Not that it helps.
So, maybe I really WILL have a life after all this. Maybe this isn't a prelude to my imminent death. Is it foolish to hope?
Sweetheart, I am 100% supportive of your decision to stay. But I cannot help that you are my heart and soul's greatest comfort and I miss you terribly.
ReplyDeleteGoing through a LOT of feelings myself. For some ungodly reason, I believed in some part of me that "we got through it and we are ok," and I would just decompress and life would keep moving on. But I am feeling all the stress, fear, anger, exhaustion, uncertainty that I had shoved aside all this time to be there for you--as I needed and wanted to be!
We are ROCK SOLID you and I. Don't you worry. I am reaching out for support. I will be fine.
Love and adoration, as always!