Yesterday I took a long walk in the drizzling rain and actually felt HAPPY for a little while! It's not like I haven't had good things happening, but I haven't actually FELT it like that in a long while. It felt good.
Been back to meetings and that also feels good and right. Maybe when I go back to work, I'll feel even more grounded. I have mixed feelings about being home all day. In some ways, I really like the freedom, but then again I feel lonely many mornings. Like the world has gone on without me.
I've got to get a photo of my healing chest to post. I'll ask Cece to take one and then put it up here. I like being able to take baths again, now that the vampire bites are completely closed up. They're still an angry red, though. Yucky.
Went to the hairdresser and wanted a white streak put in, but she convinced me to be satisfied with lowlights. I wanted something dramatic to say "look, everybody, I've been to hell and back" when I got back to work. Hell, they probably wouldn't even have noticed it.
I'm here to report that the sex life is working just fine. How cool is that? I was a little scared when my heart was pounding so hard, but Cece reminded me that it did that BEFORE the surgery, too. Still - creeped me out.
Driving is getting a little easier, especially since most of the time Cece lets me borrow her car which is easier to get in and out of and is an automatic. But the seat belt (shoulder part) hurts like a bitch! I've got to get something to pad the shoulder harness.
I still have moments when I feel like this is my "second" life. What am I going to do with it? Who knows how long it'll last - but no more holding back on ANYTHING!! Well, unless it's really bad for me.
Signing off now. Got some computer work to do. Cece's birthday tomorrow and I have preparations to take care of.
(Almost) Dead Ducky
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