I'm home!!

Sorry I haven't posted for a couple of days.  Got home around 02:00 Saturday night (Sunday morning).  I was so exhausted that I felt numb, but, oh, it was so good to see my Cece waiting for me.  Then getting to the house and saying hello to the kitties and just being in my own home!  It's not that being at my sister's or my daughter's was a hardship, it's just that I got so homesick. 

I still hate Charlotte airport.  They do not know how to take care of a handicapped person.  Maybe I'd like it better if I was fully recovered, but now I have an attitude about it and will probably avoid it if I can in the future.  But the flight was OK and the flight attendant was very good to me. 

Sunday we just relaxed and hung out all day together.  I had a step group meeting at 17:00, so I was gone for a few hours that evening.  It was good to share with my close supports and the meeting was held at my friend's who is only 2 blocks away, so I walked there. 

I'm not sure if I told y'all that my "vampire bites" have healed.  I could probably take a bath now since they're closed up.  I'm so glad b/c they really bothered me.  They looked ugly and made me nervous about getting an infection in them.  But all went well and they've healed nicely, although the scars are funky.  I'll try to get a updated photo of my healing chest posted.  I'm not good at doing that, so I'll ask dear Lola for help. 

Went to my home group meeting tonight.  First regular meeting I've attended since my surgery.  I shared about what I've been going through and warned them they'd probably be hearing a lot about it.  They're so accepting and supportive; I'm so glad for that touchstone.  Still sorting out my feelings about this.  My friends told me Sunday that I should be so grateful b/c it was a miracle that they discovered the problem before I had a heart attack.  And it was.  Considering where my blockages were, chances are my first heart attack would have been fatal.  But I escaped with an undamaged heart, unlike most who have bypasses.  They said that I'd been spared for a special reason, and that made me see things a little differently.  I hadn't been thinking of myself as lucky.  I'd been thinking that after all that positive thinking and affirmations about having the best genes in the family and that I'd never have heart issues, boom, I needed a triple bypass  and all that positive thinking had been for naught.  But they said, no, my positive thinking and awareness saved me.  Hmmmmm.  I've got to mull that over.  That's a better way to think about it than they way I've been seeing it. 

My chest still hurts when I get up in the morning and as I am active during the day, it gets to ache more towards the evening.  It hurts to the touch, but is also numb - a weird, yucky feeling.  My BIL told me that it took over a year for his chest to stop feeling that way.  Yippee.  People tell me the scar isn't bad.  But I look at women wearing low cut tops with their perfect, smooth chests and sigh within. 

But, hey, I'm a survivor and I'll wear my bathing suits with my scar hanging out with pride b/c I made it through and I'm going to get better every day!  Although I ALMOST was a dead ducky, I'm NOT.  So there!